Contact : +1-916-521-1133

231

The Psychology of the Awkward Pause

Posted by

When I think of an awkward pause I visualize a reaction to the unexpected; an insult or an outrageous statement. “Have you stopped beating your wife?” Or it could be a nonsensical question: “Are you verbal or analytical?” Personally, I do not pause. I just shift gears, change the subject or walk away.

It is an hour later when, I’m driving home from work that it dawns on me, “That guy really insulted me!” Then comes the question, do I need to do anything about it? Often the answer is no. because it requires energy. The good news is there is no statute of limitations on cleaning up a mess: “Remember when we went to the opera twelve years ago, you said something that really bothered me.”

While I am not an anthropologist, I’m guessing awkward pauses cross all cultures. More than ethnicity, I believe the differences are more about introversion-extroversion and compulsive talking. Compulsive talkers never have an awkward pause – they’re always talking. The good news is you can be rude to them and they don’t even notice. Quite liberating actually. Extroverts tend to judge themselves by how they are received by others. An awkward pause could be debilitating.  On the other hand, introverts do not get their energy from others and would most likely not respond to that which would evoke a pause in others.

Dates, job interviews, and testifying in court are some settings in which the awkward pause could be damaging. This is a good argument for rehearsing for those performances. What about spontaneity on dates? Okay, be authentic, but think before you speak.

A friend of mine believes that relationships are primarily about energy. When you are interacting with someone your energy level either goes up, stays the same, or goes down. If it frequently goes down, it means you are working, and you should take a hard look, and evaluate the quality of that relationship. I know when I’m with my best friends, for example, my energy level almost always goes up.

The obverse of the awkward pause is the deliberate pause. This powerful device is grossly underused, as people talking avoid dead air in the same way that radio and TV do. The pause causes the other person to reflect and respond. The ball is in his or her court as they say. Salesmen have known this forever: ask for the order then shut up. Try it with someone you know. After you greet them stop talking and see what happens.

As I’ve aged I feel that people are talking more and more and saying less and less that is profound, let alone interesting. As Clint Eastwood is reputed to have said about his acting technique, “Don’t just do something, stand there.”

Michael Tompkins, Ed.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist who practices in Sacramento and the San Francisco Bay Area.

231 Comments
  1. Jacques

    I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head.

    The problem is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about.
    Now i’m very happy that I came across this in my search
    for something regarding this.

  2. Silvia

    I’ve read a few good stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for
    revisiting. I wonder how much effort you set to make this
    sort of magnificent informative website.

  3. Indiana

    Yes! Finally something about website.

  4. Arturo

    I simply could not depart your web site before suggesting that I really loved the standard information a person supply
    on your visitors? Is gonna be again regularly in order to investigate cross-check new posts

  5. Chloe

    Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It will always be useful to read through content from
    other writers and practice something from their websites.

  7. Deanne

    I do accept as true with all the concepts you’ve offered to your post.
    They are very convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for beginners.

    May just you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thank you for the post.

  8. Ezekiel

    Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
    Very useful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot.

    I was seeking this certain info for a very long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  10. Nathaniel

    Thanks for the marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you will be
    a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will often come back in the foreseeable
    future. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great posts,
    have a nice afternoon!

  11. Propecia

    Thyroxin Online

  15. Dick

    Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any tips?

  21. RubentOp

    erectile dysfunction drugs ed medication online – drug prices comparison

  22. RubentOp

    generic viagra without a doctor prescription best ed treatment pills – errectile disfunction

  23. נערות ליווי

    אני מאוד ממליץ על אתר ישראל נייט קלאב אתר מספר אחד בישראל לחיפוש נערות ליווי, דירות דיסקרטיות,עיסוי אירוטי
    כנסו עכשיו ותראו לבד כמה מידע יש באתר הזה: נערות ליווי בחיפה

  25. RubentOp

    ivermectin brand name ivermectin lice – ivermectin rx

  27. Ronaldlef

    stromectol ivermectin buy: ivermectin – ivermectin buy online

  29. Ronaldlef

    generic ivermectin cream: ivermectin – ivermectin price usa

  31. RamiroKix

    plaquenil price uk buy plaquenil – cost of generic plaquenil

  32. RamiroKix

    plaquenil 200mg tablets 100 plaquenil 100 – hydroxychloroquine name brand

  33. Shantay Warbington

    I have read so many articles or reviews regarding the blogger lovers but this article is actually a fastidious post, keep it up.|

  34. RamiroKix

    hydroxychloroquine 700 mg jrunw – plaquenil medication

  35. Forrest Zehnpfennig

    Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Safari. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Thanks|

  36. Leta Greenway

    Fastidious response in return of this difficulty with genuine arguments and describing the whole thing about that.|

  38. Hyman Elderidge

    What i do not understood is if truth be told how you’re not actually much more neatly-preferred than you may be now. You are very intelligent. You know thus significantly in the case of this matter, made me personally believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women aren’t involved until it’s something to do with Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. At all times deal with it up!|

  39. RamiroKix

    ivermectin 1% cream generic ivermectin for sale – ivermectin 3mg pill

  40. Alvin Mcquain

    Hello! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!|

  45. Simon Debes

    Why viewers still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe all is existing on web?|

  46. Timmy Roff

    I have been browsing online more than three hours nowadays, yet I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is beautiful worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet can be much more useful than ever before.|

  48. Mendy Skov

    Great beat ! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I were tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast offered brilliant transparent concept|

  54. Alvinspout

    ivermectin cream cost stromectol drg – ivermectin lotion cost

  55. Stromectol

    Comprar Cialis Al Mayoreo

  56. Alvinspout

    mexican pharmacy weight loss cheap online pharmacy – online pharmacy without insurance

  57. Lasix

    Commander Xenical

  63. Alvinspout

    ed meds online canada canadian drugstore online – tadalafil without a doctor’s prescription

  74. instagram takipci satin al

    Appreciation to my father who told me on the topic of this web site,
    this web site is truly remarkable.

  80. Peterelomb

    generic valtrex canada generic valtrex – 2000 mg valtrex daily

  83. Daphine Prothero

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts about meta_keyword. Regards|

  84. Peterelomb

    compare ventolin prices buy ventolin – ventolin script

  85. Peterelomb

    ventolin 108 ventolin generic – buy ventolin inhaler

  86. Peterelomb

    buy valtrex 1000 mg generic valtrex – valtrex cream prescription

  98. Earlene Wierschen

    I am extremely impressed along with your writing skills as smartly as with the structure for your weblog. Is that this a paid theme or did you customize it your self? Either way keep up the excellent high quality writing, it’s rare to look a nice weblog like this one today..|

  108. נערות ליווי חזה ענק

    קמגרה תשדרג לכם את חיי המין ותאפשר לכם הנאה מרבית מהאקט. לטבע פלז’ר שלל פתרונות טבעיים נוספים שישדרגו לכם את חדר המיטות. קמגרה תשדרג לכם את חיי המין ותאפשר לכם הנאה מרבית מהאקט. לטבע פלז’ר שלל פתרונות טבעיים נוספים שישדרגו לכם את חדר המיטות. נערות ליווי לביתך

  110. uniswap pool

    קמגרה הוא אחד מתחליפי הויאגרה הנפוצים והאיכותיים ביותר, אשר נמכר בעשרות מיליוני יחידות בכל רחבי העולם. מדובר בתכשיר המטפל בבעיות השגת זקפה אשר מקורן בגורמים שונים, וזאת על ידי הרחבת כלי הדם ובעיקר באזורים הקשורים ליחסי המין. ההרחבה מאפשרת זרימת דם משופרת לאיבר המין, ומכאן להשגת זקפה מלאה וממושכת יותר. fabric token uniswap liquidity pool

  111. send tokens from metamask

    קמגרה למכירה בהרצליה אנשים באים אליה מהצפון, מהמרכז ומהדרום. לא לחינם נחשבת הרצליה לאחת מהערים המובילות בישראל בתחום הפנאי והבילויים. הרצליה היא עיר תוססת, עם מפגשים אנושיים רבים, metamask token factory example

  112. Lauryn Demaris

    I visited various sites however the audio feature for audio songs existing at this website is actually wonderful.|

  116. Fatima Rua

    Hey! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Thanks|

  118. Willetta Snover

    Asking questions are really nice thing if you are not understanding something fully, but this post presents nice understanding yet.|

  124. Lizbeth Failey

    Appreciate the recommendation. Let me try it out.|

  125. Matilde Hodgkin

    I like it whenever people get together and share thoughts. Great site, continue the good work!|

  130. Angelic Matsushima

    You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart.|

  132. RogerBip

    prednisone 475 prednisone news prednisone oral
    vvcrju

  133. Deandra Fripp

    It is actually a great and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you just shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.|

  136. Samuel Opiola

    Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article post. I wanted to write a little comment to support you.|

  137. Omer Lugg

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast.|

  138. Tonia Reha

    This paragraph is actually a good one it helps new web visitors, who are wishing for blogging.|

Comments are closed.